


Buddy Cops

by carminesbodycollector



Category: Sinister (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 11,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9861617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carminesbodycollector/pseuds/carminesbodycollector
Summary: Deputy So&So has moved to a new town and a new department. While there, he meets the strange crime scene photographer, Bughuul. Rumors swirl that there is something strange going on with the foster children in Bughuul's home. Are the stories true?





	1. Meeting

The small town had nothing in common with the larger city the new deputy was accustomed to. His round, almost sad eyes ducked down as he passed by the captain’s desk. On his first day, the middle aged man had never bothered to learn the dark haired deputy’s name, simply referring to him as “Deputy So&So”, a name which the whole department seemed to have picked up no matter how hard he tried to tell them his real name.

After a week, he had simply given up and dealt with the mountain of paperwork shoved his way. The work was the job of rookies and yet So&So knew he was anything but, given his years of experience. However, none of that mattered. With a sigh, he glanced down at his messenger bag to make sure that his newest crime novel was still safely tucked away.

On his second day, one of the other officers had found it, then proceeded to laugh. Nothing so horrible as the crime described in the book’s pages ever happened in this town, this town where So&So’s neighbors knew his business before he did. He would have sworn everyone was either a gossip columnist or a private investigator with the way they spoke. Even the young couple who lived in the apartment next door called him “So&So.”

He was almost waiting for his bills to come addressed that way.

In his time there, most of his calls had been out to domestic abuse homes or other such disputes. The children in town were definitely not alright. His old home town had been a hotbed of murder and disappearing kids. No matter how much he tried to persuade his chief that there was a serial killer, he was brushed aside.

And finally transferred.

Another paper was pulled closer before he was nearly knocked out of his chair by a sudden commotion. “W-whats going on?” He stammered, running after the rest of the station. The man who had been assigned as his partner, an unhappy failed author named Elison, glared at him as though So&So should have instinctively known about the cause of the abrupt activity.

Elison’s glasses tried to escape the man’s face with each word that left his mouth. “There’s been a crash on Point Avenue,” he replied as the two men slipped into a cruiser, “a bad one.” So&So blinked, thinking he had heard the other officer mutter something about not wanting to deal with-

And then the car was moving, screaming down the highway and drowning out Elison’s words.

When they arrived, there were already several cruisers parked around the wreck along with an ambulance that soon sped away. The cracked, nearly fallen telephone pole sat lodged in the top of the dark blue minivan. Blood dripped from the destroyed door and windshield, each one looking more like a compacted soda can with glass than car parts.

As he neared the scene, So&So was almost blinded by a flash, his hands shooting up to block the light. “Him again…” Elison grouched, striding closer. Confused, So&So followed along.

Through the wreck, he could almost see a head of stringy black hair. Another flash shot through the car followed by a voice that reminded the deputy of children’s nightmares. “Move.”

Another officer scrambled out from behind the van seconds before a third flash would have left him blind. Finally at the back of the car, So&So saw a man half contorted under the vehicle, raven hair just past his shoulders obscuring his face. “Stop getting artsy and just do your job.” The chief snapped, although he sounded exasperated rather than angry.

The crime scene photographer stood and turned to pass toward the opposite side of the car, brushing off his pink button up and wool coat, something So&So was certain was too heavy for the spring weather. Dark eyes, nearly the same color as his hair, slid over So&So and for a moment he felt trapped under the eyes which were surrounded by dark rings as though their owned slept little or had been punched. The scars around the man’s lips pulled, his expression settling into resting annoyance as he moved to the front of the car for more pictures. “Who was that?” So&So asked, stepping around to Elison’s left and starting to take notes.

“The Boogeyman.”


	2. For the First Time

“The what?” So&So asked, blinking in confusion at Elison. The man had to have a name, right? The deputy continued to move around the car, jotting notes down in his book. All in all, the incident seemed like a straightforward accident, an unfortunate crash with no foul play involved except possibly alcohol.

From the corner of his eye, he could see a few more flashes going off before the black haired man gathered his camera and left. Once he was gone, So&So was sure he felt the other officers let out a collective sigh of relief and exasperation. “You heard me,” Elison snapped back, shaking his head at the look his partner gave him, one that clearly said he wanted more information. “He’s a creep and gets a sick enjoyment out of taking pictures of bloody crime scenes.”

So&So nodded slowly, skeptical but open. One thing was certain, the man wasn’t particularly friendly. “What’s his name?” he asked. Elison shrugged.

“Something stupid sounding and foreign. Bughuul or something like that.”

The deputy gulped. The name sounded like something out of a campfire horror story. He was about to ask if that was his first or last name when the chief pulled the two over, telling them to head back to the station and start the paperwork. As they drove back, So&So flipped through his notes absently, his mind wandering to the photographer. Where had those scars on his lips come from? The man hadn’t spoken long enough for him to hear any accent but that didn’t mean he was without one.

At his desk after a drive filled with rumors, So&So transferred his notes to the required papers before realizing he needed to get other signatures, particularly for any places mentioning visuals. Standing, he glanced around for the photographer- Bughuul?- before setting out to look for him.

The rumors Elison had passed along would have sounded like nonsense if said about anyone less…well, creepy. It seemed as though most of the station believed the man had either killed someone and gotten away with it, kept up the killings but never got caught, or had some strange fetishes involving dead bodies. Why else would a person get so artsy with crime photos, they reasoned. Interspersed with the accusations of serial killings and necrophilia was talk of children, kids the town wanted out of the disturbing man’s house. However, with no legal standing to make them leave, with Bughuul they remained.

The desk clerk gave him directions toward the upper floor of the station where the photographer kept his office and one flight of stairs later, So&So held his hand up, knocking gently.

“Come in.” This time, So&So was almost certain he heard the faint trances of an Iraqi accent. Pushing the door open, the deputy paused.

Inside, he found the tired looking man taking a screwdriver to his camera in what appeared to be an attempt to fix something wrong with it. The deputy glanced around with the vague hope of finding something that would tell him the full name of the man leaning over the camera, but nothing appeared.

From the descriptions of the photographer, he had almost expected the room to be decorated in with cheap Halloween decorations and possibly body parts. Instead, the only personal touches to the otherwise austere office space were a small record player and a framed photograph. Stepping closer, he could make out the faces of several children between the ages of about twelve or thirteen and maybe as young as six. The deputy had never been good at guessing ages.

“I just came to ask you to sign some things,” he said, hating himself for how his voice shook. If Bughuul noticed, he made no indication, simply taking the documents and scratching quick signatures in the right places.

“Anything else?”

The voice came to So&So through a fog and the deputy had to shake himself. In such close proximity, the other man did seem creepy, almost as though he belonged in a different world, like a being masquerading as human and not quite getting it right. “The kids-” So&So blurted, trying to come up with something intelligent to say. “they’re- um, they’re cute.”

What did normal people say about other people’s children? That was acceptable, right? Not weird? Right? Right? “I’ll get going.”

“They are…” a small softness crept into the photographer’s voice, “Good bye, deputy.”

As he turned to leave, So&So was certain he saw a gentle smile settle onto scarred lips.


	3. Home Visit

In the following weeks, So&So had seen little of the photographer. No matter what lunch he took, he never saw him at any of the diners within walking distance of the station, nor did he ever see him leave at the end of the day. If not for the soft noises coming from the office, he would have assumed Bughuul never came in.

He wanted to ask the man more questions. However, the guilty part of the deputy was certain he was only being nosy because of the rumors flying from one end of the station to the other. In desperation to distract himself, So&So dove into his work, accompanying his partner on various calls day after day.

“So&So,” the deputy suppressed a shudder when he heard his chief’s voice calling to him. He wondered if someday he would forget his own name. Only the bills and his drivers license kept the name fresh in his mind.

“Y-yes, sir?” he replied, coughing afterward in an attempt to hide his stutter behind feigned illness.

“Don’t you get sick too,” the chief snapped. So&So nodded quickly. Ellison had been out for two days with a bad case of the flu. “We just got a call from saying that there is some suspicious activity at 11689 Ciaran St. Go see what’s going on.” The older man gave an exasperated sigh as he stated the address and So&So could remember seeing a large file taken out by one of the other officers who had investigated the house previously.

One salute later, So&So started one of the cruisers and made his way toward the address. On his way out, he had been told by the dispatcher that one of the neighbors had called complaining of ‘satanic activity’ and the murder of a dog. One wasn’t police business, however, the other could be construed as disturbing the peace so off he went.

On arrival, he came face to face with a one story rancher with beige bricks and a slightly sloped roof. Pulling up to the house, the deputy parked beside the curb and stepped out. With a small gulp, he steeled himself and walked to the door, ringing the bell with a quick push of the button.

A flurry of activity could be heard inside, including the sound of shouting children, although he couldn’t make out the words. In the window on the left, he saw a pair of faces, a redheaded boy and a girl wearing what looked like an artist’s smock giggling at him. After what felt like hours, the door was yanked open and So&So came face to face with a boy of about thirteen. Dark eyes scowled back at him before the child brushed equally dark hair behind his ear. “What?”

So&So remained silent for a moment, shocked to see a rat sitting contentedly on the boy’s shoulder. “I’m Deputy-”

“Dad!” the boy called into the dark house behind him. “There’s an officer here again!” 

Well, it seemed at least this child was used to the police arriving. The deputy was about to speak again when another voice spoke, making him pause abruptly before coming face to face with Bughuul who suddenly emerged from the darkened hallway.

The black haired man gave So&So a deadpan look. “To what do I owe the annoyance?”


	4. Not as it Seems

So&So stared at Bughuul for a few moments, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form words. “I was- I was called here because of neighbor complaints,” he replied, seeing the boy scowl at him from the corner of his eye. Even the rat seemed angry at his words. 

“The neighbors are idiots,” the boy spat, his voice eerily calm as he glared across the street. Just then, a shout was heard from farther inside the house.

Bughuul’s attention turned to the boy. “Milo,” he stated, “Go make sure Ted and Emma aren’t fighting.” Milo huffed but walked off as his father’s gaze shifted to the deputy still standing in his doorway. “You can either come inside and investigate or leave with nothing.”

So&So blinked, shaking himself, and stepping slowly into the house. Something about the inside was both comforting and utterly terrifying. He could see the shapes of lamps in the rooms off of the hall, but none of them were on. Bughuul turned, nodding for So&So to follow, as he made his way down the main hallway. “What did they claim this time?” The photographer sounded infinitely exasperated. Dark circles could easily be seen under his eyes.

“Are you sleeping well?”

The question had left the deputy’s lips before he could stop it and instantly he was greeted with a flat look from Bughuul. “Don’t ask about things you have no interest in.” So&So blushed in embarrassment, eyes moving to stare at anything but the back of the other man’s pink button up.

Along the sides of the hallway were framed pictures. Each one showing a small gathering of children who appeared to be between seven and seventeen years old. In a few of the pictures, So&So could see Milo at various ages. Children grew up in the images lining the walls. Some disappeared, some only stared back at him from one photo, some seemed to age with each passing image. Bughuul stood off to the side, his face always the same, as if the man never grew older.

Bughuul sighed. “I would guess they complained about this.”

So&So walked past Bughuul slowly as the other pulled back a sliding glass door which led out into the backward. Outside, a girl was huddled around what appeared to be the mangled corpse of a dog while another rocked back and forth on a tire swing hanging from a nearby tree. “Dad!” the girl next to the dog ran over to Bughuul, grabbing his hand and pulling him over. “Look!”

She pointed to the carcass, smiling brightly. The girl on the swing blinked at So&So, “Is he the new police man?”

“My name is-”

“He came about your project, Ashley.” Bughuul’s voice cut through the deputy’s.

“P-project?” So&So asked, nervous.

“Yea!” Ashley giggled, bounding over to him and pulling him over as well. “I made a pinata but it didn’t look good so I painted it to look like a dog and then Stephanie found some fake fur in the craft box!” She beamed at the swinging girl who grinned back.

Squatting down, So&So could see that the animal on the ground was indeed made out of cardboard. Torn red streamers, which he had mistaken for blood, littered the grass along with little gummy candies. When he stood once more, he jumped back as his eyes landed on Bughuul, the man suddenly inches from his face. “Satisfied, Deputy?”


	5. Normal Freaks

So&So nodded, stepping back slightly to put more distance between himself and the other man. “Good,” Bughuul stated before turning to the girls. “Make sure you clean this up. Milo’s rats have enough food without candy.”

Ashely and Stephanie gave a quick ‘okay, Daddy’ then waved to the deputy as Bughuul escorted him back into the house. “I’ll tell you what I told the last one. Do better at listening. What they say isn’t always what happens.”

So&So‘s eyebrows rose in confusion. “What?”

“I’ve seen the file on my own house,” Bughuul replied, stepping into the kitchen and pulling out a glass. He moved toward the sink, continuing to speak while the glass was filled with water. “Nothing improper goes on here.”

Before So&So could answer, a boy ran into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks, followed by a girl who looked about the same age as Milo and another boy with red hair and an alligator toy. Bughuul’s eyes slid over them and the slowed their pace to fast walk until they were on the other side of the room. Afterward, the running began again and the photographer sighed.

“Looks like you’ve got your hands full,” So&So chuckled, trying for a small joke.

Bughuul looked less than amused.

“Sorry.”

The man brushed some of his long hair away from his face, then turned to face So&So fully. “You’ve seen what you needed to, deputy. Now, go away and leave us alone. I’m sure you can find the door.”

“I-” The abrupt end to the visit made So&So stutter but he soon nodded. There was no reason for him to stay any longer. “Yea. See you at work.” A soft hum was the only response and So&So quickly made his exit.

Once inside the police cruiser, he sighed, then glanced up. The faces of several children were pressed against the front windows, watching him. Milo, Ashley, Stephanie, and the children from the kitchen all stared from behind the glass.

***

“So you went.”

The deputy was startled out of his paperwork by Ellison. It had been a few weeks since he had first visited the house and in that time, he had been called back for various misunderstandings a total of five times. Why the police still took the calls seriously, he would never know. Then again, they were duty bound to investigate. What if something bad really did happen? “Y-yea,” he stammered.

Contrary to what Bughuul had said, the hadn’t seen each other outside of those visits. The photographer kept to himself and So&So had been away from the violent crimes. 

“Freaks, aren’t they?”

So&So opened his mouth to respond, but Ellison had already moved away from his desk, a speedy exist that left the seated deputy confused.

Until a voice spoke from behind him.

Turning, he came face to face with a child’s painting. The image was of him, at least it looked vaguely like him, along with two young girls and a man with long black hair. “Ashley wanted you to have this.”

So&So smiled, a little fuzzy feeling taking off inside him. It was more than obvious that the older children hated when he came to the house, but at least one of the kids appeared to like him. However, he found himself unable to get any sort of read on their father.

“Come for dinner.” The words startled So&So to the point that he forgot to process them for a moment.

“Huh?”

“You have ears. 6 o’clock. Tonight. Unless you have other plans.”

“No, I-I mean, sure. I don’t have anything, I wouldn’t even know how to get other plans or who with and….thank you.”

His delivery made and message delivered, the photographer turned, stalking back to his upstairs office in silence.


	6. Dinner

Whether or not Bughuul had known his shift ended at four that day, So&So had no idea. Starting at 6am had felt like a small slice of horror that morning, but now it gave him time to run home and get changed. He wasn’t going to the house on official business. Perhaps showing up in his uniform would send the wrong message. But what message was he trying to send? Should he have accepted the invitation to begin with? What was the rule on workplace dinners? Romance? Why was he thinking about romance?!

The moment he pulled into the driveway, So&So‘s head hit the steering wheel and he sighed. All that was going to happen was a nice dinner at a coworker’s house with their kids, children who seemed anywhere on the spectrum from hating him to actively wanting to give him gifts. After a few moments of deliberation, he pulled his keys out and walked inside.

His dark blue mailbox was overflowing with letters, which he pulled out and began sifting through the various bills. Nothing interesting and the envelopes ended their journey in a pile on So&So‘s kitchen table to be dealt with later. Now, there were bigger problems.

Not since high school had the deputy felt so awkward. Homecomings and prom had been one clothing nightmare after another. He’d managed to ask a few girls to go and had spent the hours before going to pick them up just as he was now, with ties and outfits of varying formality spread out on his bed and a mind full of questions. In the hour since he had returned home, the man had tried on six button ups, four jackets, a tuxedo, three pairs of pants, innumerable ties, and two pairs of shoes.

Finally, with only a few minutes left before he had to leave, he settled on a pale blue-grey button up, basic slacks, and a grey jacket. Brushing his hair into place, he stared at himself in the mirror. A grown adult man should not have the eyes of a laborador puppy, but he couldn’t help the worried look he was giving himself.

Breathe in. Breath out. One more time.

He gave a quick nod to himself then grabbed his keys. After so many visits to the Bughuul house, he could arrive easily from the police station so simply took that route. When he pulled into the driveway, Ashley and the taller girl, Emma, were outside with some chalk. They jumped out of the way quickly enough, but gave two very different reactions. As So&So stepped out of the car, Ashley ran over and gave him a hug while Emma turned on her heel and walked to the door. “Dad!” she called, “The deputy is here!”

“We’re having speghetti,” Ashley giggled, pulling So&So‘s hand to lead him toward the house, “Dad let me help make it and he made Milo promise not to let the rat eat off your plate.” So&So nodded, wondering what sort of dinner he had gotten himself into.


	7. Strange Meal

So&So followed Ashley through the house, hearing the faint sound of dishes being set on a table and glasses clinking. He was soon, however, left in the middle of the dinning room, surrounded by a small flurry of activity. One boy, who the deputy had never seen in anything other than swimming trunks, ran past him carrying a large bowl of spaghetti noodles followed by Milo, whose rat sat proudly on his shoulder. However, this rat was different than the others, a bit bigger and a dark black rather than the grey So&So was used to seeing. Just how many pets did the kid have?

“What do you want?” Emma asked,

“W-what?”

“To drink,” she sighed, then turned around muttering, “ice water.”

He didn’t really feel like objecting so hovered near the wall to keep out of the way. Soon enough, the table was set and all children had taken places around it, leaving the only open spots at the head and foot. Still, the deputy had yet to see their father.

“Oh, you arrived.”

The sudden voice made So&So jump a bit, earning a few snickers from the children. How could a tall man make that little noise? “I told you he did, Dad,” Emma huffed, rolling her eyes before striking up a conversation with Milo about dumb adults.

“Have a seat, deputy,” Bughuul stated, moving toward the head of the table.

“Please, call me-”

“Over here!” Steph called, patting the only remaining chair. So&So sat and was soon astonished by the abrupt grabbing of food. No one seemed to be getting in each others’ way, as though this was how dinner normally went. The rat one sitting on Milo’s shoulder had scurried off to lord knew where, something So&So preferred not to think about. He gathered a small mound of noodles and sauce for himself, along with a few meatballs.

“I hope you like humans.” Milo muttered, grinning at the deputy.

“Milo.” Bughuul’s voice was tired yet firm and So&So once again found himself wondering if the man got enough sleep. He always had such dark circles around his eyes.

“It’s just a joke, Dad.”

“I made them!” Ashley giggled, clearly proud, “and there’s no people in any.”

“They’re very good,” So&So assured her.

“Do you work with Dad on a lot of cases?” Ted asked, staring at So&So from his spot on Bughuul’s left. “What does a crime scene look like? Dad doesn’t show us any of the pictures. Do you shoot people?”

So&So looked to the other adult in the room for help, but found only flat eyes watching him with something close to interest. “I try not to,” the deputy replied, “I don’t want to make people’s bad days any worse.”

He really didn’t want to talk about work at a nice family dinner. “So…” he muttered, suddenly the center of attention as all eyes landed on him. “How is school going?”

The sound of the air conditioner was the only response.


	8. Doing Dishes

So&So blinked as the whole table went silent. His heart pounded inside his ears and he wondered if he had said something wrong. The conversation had been at least lively and then had come to an abrupt halt. What if he had offended them? What if they never spoke to him again? What if-

“They’re home-schooled.”

The middle eastern accent of his coworker jolted the deputy out of his nervous stupor. He looked the table at the various ages of the children. “O-oh,” he stammered.

“Regular school is stupid,” Emma huffed, “they get so mad when I put ice cubes down someone’s shirt.”

“Yea!” Ted chimed in, “and I can’t bring my lizards and Milo can’t have his rats. Teachers are dumb.”

So&So nodded, sighing in relief as the clatter of silverware against plates resumed. Ashley tugged on his sleeve after a few moments and soon began telling him all about her artwork. Stephanie soon joined in as well, asking if he would help her put in another tire swing on the big tree in the backyard since Daddy was busy all the time. Ted wanted to go to the zoo to see the alligators and soon found himself in an argument with Milo about whether reptiles or mammals were better pets. Slowly, So&So found himself smiling. His eyes flicked to Bughuul who looked away as soon as their eyes met, chastising Milo for a shouted comment about having his rats eat through any gator Ted happened to bring home. “Can deputy stay for movie night?” Ashley asked.

Bughuul looked to So&So, waiting for an answer. The deputy stammered for a moment. “S-I- Sure, I mean, if it’s not a, you know, inconvenience.”

“It won’t be.” Bughuul answered, finishing off the last of his food, “we have enough chairs.” Turning to look at each of the children, he gave quick instructions to place their dirty dishes in the sink then go set up. As each one finished, So&So heard the soft clatter of the dishes. Bughuul stood, soon followed by the deputy insisting he wanted to help since he had eaten too. The photographer made no comment other than a small grunt.

“They like you,” he said, handing So&So his fifth dish to dry. The deputy nearly jumped at the sudden words after the last few minutes had been spent in silence.

“They’re good kids,” he replied, a small smile on his face.

“You should come over more often.” Bughuul stated with his usual bored tone.

“I’d like th-”

“When the kids aren’t here.”

So&So nearly dropped the plate and was about to sputter a reply when Milo called form the other room. “Dad! I found Insidious 3!”

Bughuul took the last cup and gave it a quick once over with the drying towel before brushing past the stunned deputy toward the main room. “Are you coming?” he asked.


	9. Movie Night

When So&So arrived in the main room, he was greeted with the children scurrying around to set up various chairs and blankets. Ashley and Steph were busy propping up a small collection of blankets and pillows on the floor to make a bed-like structure, while Milo and Emma worked to make the DVD player function properly. Bughuul brushed past the deputy to help the two children. Ted and the boy who always wore swim trunks each grabbed one of So&So‘s hands, dragging him over to the couch. “You sit here,” Ted declared with all the authority of a child with a plan.

Ashley sprang up as soon as So&So was seated, dragging Bughuul over and pointing toward the spot next to the deputy. Without a word, the photographer sat down. Milo let out a triumphant yell as the menu of the DVD flickered into life. So&So stared at it, surprised that the gaggle of children was going to watch an R rated horror film. He glanced at Bughuul, wondering why, but decided not to question the other man’s parenting skills. So&So had no children, what right did he have to make comments?

Ted took the final seat on the couch, cuddling an alligator toy that was half his size. Emma plopped down next to the other two girls while Milo and the final boy leaned on either armrest of the couch. As the film progressed, So&So found himself scooting closer to Bughuul. At one point, he even found his hand wrapped around the other man’s after a particularly horrendous jump scare. Immediately, he let go, letting out a small apology. Bughuul only gave a ‘hm’ in return.

Horror movies had never really been the deputy’s favorite genre, despite his love of crime novels. Something about demons and seeing people die just made his stomach turn. However, he couldn’t help but smile at the grinning faces of the children. They seemed to be having fun together and wasn’t that what family movie night was all about?

When the movie finally came to a close, the children began cleaning. “When you’re done, brush your teeth and go to bed.” Bughuul instructed as he led So&So back toward the front door.

“Thank you for coming. They enjoyed having you.”

“I-it’s no trouble,” So&So replied, a little smile on his face, “I liked coming. N-not that other times haven’t been good, it’s just that…this wasn’t work related.”

“Be safe on your way home.” Bughuul stated, his expression never changing from the disinterested stare So&So was used to. However, as he turned to go, he thought he saw the corners of the man’s mouth quirk up in the barest hint of a smile.


	10. Secret Santa

In the following weeks, So&So visited the Bughuul house more than once, a total of six times, and during each visit, could have sworn that he had seen the photographer smile only three times. At work, the man never so much as changed expression from his usual disinterested exasperation so So&So was happy to see him at least having a bit of fun. 

Snow covered the ground on his next visit as he helped the children decorate for the holidays. The work of a policeman was never done and neither he nor Bughuul had gotten lucky enough to have Christmas day off. Instead, they had ended up with the following Saturday. “Are you going to have dinner with us?” Stephanie asked, taking another ornament from the deputy and hanging it on the tree.

“I-if it’s okay with your father,” So&So replied, digging out another decoration. Stephanie immediately called to Bughuul, who was in the kitchen making lunch for the group. His black haired head poked out from around the corner and he nodded. So&So couldn’t help but smile.

At the station, despite it being two weeks early, the chief had authorized a Secret Santa. Each deputy chose a name from the administrative and support staff, and vice versa. Staring at the name on his card, So&So knew fate must either love him or hate him. In bold black font sat the name of the crime scene photographer.

That had been three days ago. With one day left until the gift exchange, So&So stood in the last antique shop in town. From the times he had been in the other’s house, So&So knew that he enjoyed vintage and antique curiosities. In the few spaces not taken over by the children he had found pictures, paintings, and an old photography camera, the sort used with smoke and a black hood over the photographer. His eyes moved over the different selections of items, completely lost and praying that when he saw something perfect it would just-

There!

On top of a bookshelf, he spotted the absolutely perfect gift. At least, he hoped it was good, If the man didn’t like it, he could sell it online maybe. So&So stood on his toes to reach the item, carefully plucking it from its hiding spot and, practically hugging it to his chest, wandered back over to the counter to pay.


	11. Present Time

When the day of the secret santa arrived, So&So could hardly contain himself. As the pairs saw one another, they exchanged gifts. Around him, the deputy could hear many ‘thank you’s and laughter as people opened the perfect present or a wonderful joke gift. His own box sat wrapped on his desk as he waited for the photographer to come down the stairs. With each minute that ticked by, So&So found himself having more and more trouble concentrating on work. Thankfully, there had been no calls needing his attention yet.

So&So‘s head shot up as he heard footsteps approaching his desk. “You look like a deer,” Elison chided. So&So sighed, although he couldn’t help but nod. “I heard you got the Boogeyman.” Again, the deputy nodded. “Well, good luck. He won’t like it, whatever it is.”

Puppy eyes followed the man as Elison walked away. As if So&So‘s nerves weren’t choking him enough.

Lunched passed without incident and still with no sign of Bughuul. Just as So&So was about to give up for the day, he felt a shadow fall over his desk. He was about to ask Elison to please leave him alone, but the voice that came to his ears was definitely not that of the failed writer. “Here.”

A nearly flat rectangular package was dumped unceremoniously on his desk, nearly causing So&So to jump in surprise. “A-are you my-”

“Yes.”

“Thank, you.” He stammered, then quickly regained his senses and thrust his own present toward its recipient. “I-I hope you like it.” Bughuul gave a small huff in response, then set to work unwrapping the paper from his gift. So&So watched with bated breath, almost shivering with nerves.

Once the paper fell away, So&So switched his focus to Bughuul’s eyes. There, he could see a sparkle, the same one that came to the photographer when he smiled. The corners of the long haired man’s lips twitched as he picked up the Super 8 camera. A few rolls of film were tucked under the camera and Bughuul’s eyes grew wide. “…Thank you.” He stated, setting the camera carefully back into the box. Scooping it up, he left before So&So could say a word, but the deputy was almost sure he saw a slight blush ghosting over Bughuul’s pale cheeks.

Turning to his own box, he carefully removed the wrapping to find a painting inside. It showed himself and the children, all smiling and decorating the house for the holidays. A warm feeling settled in his chest. He could even see Bughuul off to the side, watching them all have fun with the tree. It was extremely detailed and utterly beautiful. Yes, this was definitely going in his living room.


	12. Want to go out?

With New Years fast approaching, So&So couldn’t help but wonder what to do. Normally, he spent that time alone, watched the ball drop, and then went to bed. Parties weren’t really his type of thing, particularly the people who inevitably got drunk and began causing a commotion the moment the countdown began.

He had assumed Bughuul was the same until- “The kids are going to a New Years party at the center.”

So&So had been washing dishes once again with the photographer, having come over for dinner, an activity that seemed to occur more and more often. He was certainly not complaining. The children were wonderful to be around, although Milo’s pet rats still kept him on edge. In his time with the family, he had learned that the children took various lessons at the local recreation center during evenings and weekends.

“I hope they have fun,” So&So replied, setting down the last dish.

Bughuul gave him an even flatter look than usual, a hint of annoyance behind his dark eyes. “We should go out.”

So&So was taken aback by the words. Bughuul was blunt, certainly, but the detective had never heard him be this direct. “I-I would be happy to spend time with a coworker.”

This time a huff accompanied the perturbed expression. “We should go out.” Bughuul repeated, obviously hoping for So&So to get something through his head. The detective’s eyes widened and his mouth opened and closed like a choking fish.

“You…y-you mean as, um…well, something and-”

“Yes.”

So&So was about to answer then-

“Is that agreeable?”

The man stared back at Bughuul, mind working at speeds he had never thought possible and blank at the same time. A blush spread across his cheeks as he finally looked the photographer in the eyes. Did he want to go out with him? He hadn’t even had anything resembling a date since early high school. Did he even remember how? What would a date with Bughuul be like? Since his first visit to the house, So&So had learned so much more about the “Boogeyman” and, as he thought, he found himself wanting to know more.

“Al-alright,” he stammered, smiling.

“Good.”

And with that, they began putting the dishes away to the sounds of snickering children in the background and Ashley’s voice saying, “I knew it!”


	13. The Date Begins

So&So arrived at the Bughuul house just as the photographer was pulling up in his own car. No children came bounding out of the back, chasing one another in a race to get into the house first. Instead, Bughuul opened the trunk and gingerly pulled out plastic bags full of objects the deputy couldn’t quite make out. “Sorry I’m a bit, well, early...” he muttered, forcing a nervous smile onto his face. Bughuul gave a quick nod then strode into his home with the full expectation that So&So would follow along.

Short winter days had the sun going down early and only a half hour later, as the clock showed eight, the world outside was dark. In the meantime, So&So had assisted with putting away groceries, although there was one bag Bughuul refused to let him touch. A comfortable silence stretched between them as the taller man settled into checking the paper. Normally, such quietness made the deputy more anxious, his desperation and fear at needing to be interesting taking over. However, with Bughuul, he found that there was no such pressure. Instead of shaking, his hands sat relaxed on the table as his eyes took in the still form of the other man.

Even if the changes were subtle, So&So could still see them. Bughuul’s hair had been washed more thoroughly than normal, giving the strands a soft, airy quality. His slightly grey skin instead boasted a fuller color and his normal pink button up appeared freshly pressed. So&So had just let his gaze reach Bughuul’s dark eyes when the photographer abruptly stood, startling the deputy. “Is s-something wrong?”

“We should go.”

With his heart pounding in his ears, So&So followed Bughuul out to the man’s car, gingerly settling into the passenger’s seat. For some reason, he had expected the car to be full of evidence of children, snacks, toys, maybe a few small clothing items left behind. However, much like Bughuul himself, the car appeared freshly cleaned. Classical music floated in calm notes from the speakers as Bughuul turned the key. “You can change it if you want.” Was that a small tremor So&So heard in Bughuul’s voice? No, it couldn’t be.

“This is, really nice.” he replied, one corner of his mouth twitching into what he hoped was a reassuring expression. Bughuul hummed then began to back out of the driveway and onto the neighborhood street.

In the back seat, the plastic bag sat and So&So was still flummoxed about what could be inside. For a few moments, he debated just asking. However, he quickly decided that if Bughuul wanted to tell him, he would. Perhaps he would find out later.

As the silence stretched on between them, broken only by the radio host detailing the composer and conductor for the next song, So&So could see the pristine houses of the suburbs give way to more and more trees. His hearts pounded as nerves began to rear their head again, too many horror films mixing with jitters and culminating in the fear that he would end up dead in the woods. A cough left him, the sudden jolt of his body enough to bring his mind back to an even keel. He was being ridiculous and buying into the rumors that still ran rampant around the police station. In the past few months, he had learned first hand that they were far from true.

The car took a final turn, the road becoming dirt rather than asphalt as the vehicle climbed up the side of a gentle hill. At the top, So&So saw the city below lit up but too far to hide the stars above. “Wow...” he breathed. Bughuul hummed, his eyes never meeting the deputy’s as he stepped out of the car and retrieved the bag.

“Wait here” was the instruction and So&So nodded. From inside the car, he could hear the rustling of plastic and then fabric. “You can come out.” Even though the words were clipped and short, So&So felt the warmth. To others, they may have sounded rude or like commands, but they weren’t. Instead, he knew they were just the way Bughuul spoke. Only small inflections or changes in tone could give away how he really felt and So&So had learned to hear them.

On stepping out of the car, he was greeted by Bughuul standing over a large blanket and two prepared dinners in plastic bowls. Bughuul looked between the deputy and the blanket then sat down, So&So following along. “Did you make this?” the deputy asked as he picked up the warm soup.

Bughuul nodded. “It’s chicken. The weather is going to get colder.”

So&So couldn’t help but laugh. Other people may have expected a fancy picnic full of the normal romantic foods. However, the practicality and simplicity of the meal before him was so much like Bughuul. “Thanks,” he replied with a bright smile and gingerly began to spoon a few bites of the warm broth into his mouth.

A half hour passed between them as the two ate, the only sound each one blowing on their spoons to cool the soup. Once he finished, So&So turned to just watch Bughuul. As soon as the other man noticed, he blinked then coughed, cheeks tinting a slight red.

If only the men at the station could see the Boogeyman So&So knew.

“You like crime novels.” Bughuul finally turned to looked at So&So fully, his expression back to the normal flat look, but with a small twitch at the ends of his lips. “How long?”

So&So brightened instantly. “For years!” he chuckled, “I started, you know, well, in high school and then just kept going. I really wanted to help people. Bad days aren’t, the only part of people’s lives that matter and if I could help both sides. The books tell the stories, I guess, from everywhere so I could feel what everyone feels and-”

“You don’t stutter when you’re excited.”

So&So paused.

“It’s cute.”

His mouth opened and closed for a few seconds as his face turned the color of a tomato. “Th-thank you.” He stammered. Bughuul placed a hand over the deputy’s then glanced down at the watch circling his wrist.

“They're going to start soon.”


	14. One Step

“What are?” So&So asked, watching Bughuul more than the landscape spread out before them. The taller man was characteristically silent, simply staring into the sky. So&So took the opportunity to move a bit closer, surprised at himself for doing so. However, the growing cold had made his coat more and more useless. Aside from that, through the night he had learned being close to Bughuul was nice. For the first time in years, he felt completely safe next to another person.

Bughuul nodded toward the sky, muttering something So&So couldn’t quite pick up. Ben? Fine? Ate?

His eyes grew wide then he laughed. “Seven!” Bughuul turned to him with that small smile the deputy knew meant everything.

“Six!” Even the air around them seemed charged, as though the whole world was waiting to bring in the new year along with the couple.

“Five!” For years, he had spent New Years alone, just watching television or reading. He had forgotten what is was like to spend the holiday with others.

“Four!” The last few months had opened new opportunities So&So had never dared dream of. A new town, a new job, and a new friend.

“Three!” Was this what true happiness felt like?

“Two!” Maybe.

“One!” He hoped so. 

“Happy New Year!”

The sound of So&So‘s shout was lost in the sudden explosion of fireworks over the city below. Bright pinwheels and rockets colored the sky in dazzling hues that shone off of the deputy’s wide eyes.

Beside him, he saw Bughuul staring at the display. However, after each explosion, the grip on So&So‘s hand grew a fraction tighter. Was-was Bughuul scared of loud noises? “Are you okay?” he asked, worried eyes turned away from the show to scan Bughuul’s face for any answer.

The photographer blinked then gave an indignant huff. “No, I-” His words were cut off by a series of almost deafening whistlers and the grip around So&So‘s wrist grew tighter still. Bughuul could see the questioning look his companion gave then shook his head. “You said you hadn’t seen them in years.” He let his dark eyes wander back to the colorful explosions. “Do you like them?”

So&So, before he could think to stop himself, wrapped his arms fully around Bughuul’s shoulders. For a moment, he thought the sudden flinch from the photographer would end in being shoved away, being told that he should never do something so stupid again, but it didn’t. Instead, Bughuul remained still and if So&So had looked up, he could have seen the wide-eyed shock on his face.

Slow hands finally settled on So&So‘s, tracing a line down between the deputy’s shoulders. Against his lips, So&So felt those of the photographer part a fraction to allow his tongue to snake between them. The taste of Bughuul flooded his mouth, intoxicating and wonderful. All too soon, the need for air forced So&So to pull away. Panting softly, he stared into Bughuul’s dark eyes, waiting, but not sure for what.

Leaning close, Bughuul’s hot breath ghosted over So&So‘s ear. “Do that again.”


	15. Well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since I updated this. Work and writers block got in the way but here is a late Christmas update. I hope you enjoy.

He’d kissed his coworker. He’d kissed his coworker. He’d kissed his coworker. He’d kissed Bughuul!

Even though the event-instance? moment? time?- had happened days ago So&So couldn’t get those simple, maddening thoughts from his head. The two hadn’t spoken since that day and the deputy was starting to wonder if maybe he hadn’t lived up to expectation. Sure, he wasn’t the best kisser in the world, but well…

His head hit his desk as he sighed, a small hiss leaving him from the force. Ellison had been remarkably quiet over the passing days, something So&So was grateful for. He wasn’t sure he could handle the attempted author’s prying. What would he say? What was the policy on office romance? In most places, it was frowned upon or outright banned, but So&So truly had no idea when it came to the police station. Perhaps getting hold of someone in HR would be helpful.

But then that would be admitting out loud to what had happened and he wasn’t sure he could do that, not without at least saying a few words to the photographer first. He glanced at the clock, two hours, only two hours since his shift had started and already he felt like he had been there for eight years.

“-So!” A voice came to him from somewhere to his left but his mind was in such a mess that he ignored it. “Deputy So&So!”

The shout had him on his feet, knocking over the chair in his haste to see who had been yelling at him. Something about the voice sounded off, like the speaker was unused to raising their own volume above standard speech. Blinking, So&So stared at Bughuul, the taller man giving him his usual expression mixed with a hint of annoyance and perhaps a dash of nerves, although So&So was certain he was projecting.

Around them, the station had gone silent, shocked to not only see Bughuul out of his “lair” but also yelling at someone else. “Come with me.” So&So coughed, chastising his mind for running straight into the gutter; that was completely unlike him. Spending last night awake and running on coffee probably wasn’t the most healthy thing he could have done. It must be affecting his brain.

“S-sure,” he stammered, “what’s wrong?”

Bughuul turned, paying the officers and staff around them no attention as the crowd slowly returned to their duties. “I need to speak with you regarding last week’s assault.”

It took all of So&So‘s concentration not to deflate in relief. A case, good, something neutral and professional to talk about. The week prior, an assault had taken place downtown. So&So had been one of the first to respond, Bughuul arriving at the hospital later to photograph the victim’s wounds while the deputy took their statement.

Ascending the stairs toward Bughuul’s office, So&So could hear his own steps echoing off of the walls, louder and more deafening with each increase in height. By the time the two reached the top, So&So was sure he would go deaf. How could Bughuul not hear this? Or maybe he just wasn’t bothered? Or maybe So&So was hallucinating? He wasn’t sure about much anymore. Inside the office, So&So could see a few more child’s paintings along with three stuffed toys lounging on Bughuul’s desk: a rat, a crocodile, and a snowman. If the officers downstairs could see the utterly adorable plushies, they would have to rethink their assessment of Bughuul.

“What-,” the deputy coughed, hoping the sudden jolts to his system would settle his nerves, “What’s up?” That sounded casual, right?

Bughuul sat down in the only chair available, staring at So&So for several long moments before speaking. “Was it unpleasant?”

“Was what…” Oh. The photographer wanted to talk about that.

“The act is frowned upon but not grounds for termination.”

Okay. They wouldn’t get fired. Good, good. Wait- “You talked to HR?!” So&So was shocked by his own abrupt change in volume and immediately covered his mouth, large eyes wide and afraid. Bughuul nodded. “They, um, they won’t tell anyone else, right?”

“Are you embarrassed by me?”

The sputtering and torrent of apologies that fell from the deputy’s mouth had Bughuul out of his chair in an instant. He strode across the room, covering the short distance to reach So&So. Gently, he took the other man’s hand in his. “I-I-I-” So&So continued, mouth opening and closing like a bass caught in a bear’s teeth.

“Teasing,” Bughuul stated, voice tinged with a light apology. So&So deflated, chin resting on his chest. “The children like you,” Bughuul continued, “although that’s not the main point here. Would you like to see what happens?”

So&So looked up slowly, drawing his gaze up to the photographer’s chin, to his scarred lips, and finally to his dark eyes. “Yes.”


	16. So&So's Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So&So gets a chance to plan their date, but things don't go as well as he'd hoped.

“Dad is going on a date.”

Ashley stood on her toes, looking over the table to where Emma and Milo were puttering through homework.

“We know,” Emma huffed, “it’s stupid.”

“Nuh-uh!” Ashley pouted, cheeks puffing out. “The deputy is really nice and-”

“He’s just a stupid cop,” Milo interjected, earning a glare from his foster sister. “It’d be better if he just ran away like the others.” His pet rat looked over to the small girl and twitched as if in agreement with its owner.

“Why don’t you want Dad to be happy?!”

Milo’s head shot up before he coughed, hiding his affronted feelings behind his hand. “I never said that!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“What have I said about yelling in the house?”

Both children turned sharply to see Bughuul standing in the doorway to the kitchen, wool coat slung over his forearm and pink button up freshly ironed. Immediately, Ashley ran over and hugged him. “Good luck on your date!” she giggled. Bughuul’s lips twitched but otherwise his face remained motionless.

Milo turned back to his work. “When are you going to be home?”

“No later than eleven. Make sure the others eat and are in bed.”

The boy nodded. Being one of the oldest, he was often tasked with taking care of his younger siblings. It was annoying and took away time from teaching his pet new tricks. And why did it have to be because of this nonsense anyway? When Bughuul had to work, Milo could understand. That was outside of his foster father’s control, after all. It wasn’t like he was avoiding them. But this, this was different. This time, Bughuul was choosing to be somewhere else, with someone else and Milo could feel rage and longing settling like snakes in his stomach.

His eyes flicked over to Emma and he immediately noticed her expression mirrored his. Their father was supposed to be theirs. It was always just him and them against the world and now there was an invader. Stupid deputy.

The buzz of the doorbell had Ashley running toward the front of the house, beaten only a second before by Stephanie who fumbled with the lock in her haste to open the door. “Deputy!” she called, both girls rushing out onto the front porch to give him his usual welcome hugs.

So&So returned their enthusiasm with his more subdued stammered greetings, head raising to look at Bughuul when the other man arrived.

“Where have you chosen?” the photographer intoned and So&So was once again filled with nerves. He had chosen their location this time and he could only hope that Bughuul would approve. 

“You’ll..uh...you’ll see when we get there?” he had meant it to sound interesting and mysterious, but the words tumbled out like a question instead. If Bughuul noticed, he said nothing, simply brushing past So&So. The deputy gave each of the girls still hugging him a small pat on the head then, after making sure they were both inside, followed the photographer.

Dashing forward, he opened the passenger’s side door for Bughuul, eyes wide. A low rush of air left the taller man, a sound So&So had come to learn was the closest thing Bughuul came to laughing on most occasions. Even so, he slipped into the seat, buckling himself as So&So made his way to the other side of the car.

Before opening the door, So&So took a calming breath. This was his turn to be in control and he wanted everything to be perfect, or at least as close to perfect as he could get. Bughuul’s eyes followed him as he shifted the car into gear and backed out of the driveway.

“Have you, um, have you seen the new exhibit yet?” The deputy hoped the answer was ‘no’.

“Is that where we’re going?” Well that didn’t actually answer the question.

So&So nodded. “It’s just that, well, I thought it’d be fun and I actually really like old books and they even got a Gutenberg Bible! I’ve wanted to see one and-”

“That sounds fun.” Bughuul reached his hand over, laying atop So&So’s shoulder. Immediately, the deputy felt his nerves rushing out of him. The red glow of the stoplight made Bughuul’s skin look almost bloodshot, but reflected in his dark eyes, So&So felt the photographer- his photographer?- looked wonderful. “It’s green.”

So&So blinked, suddenly shocked out of his staring, and nodded, easing the car forward.

A blinding light to his right was all he saw before the world tumbled, pain exploded through his body, and everything went black.


	17. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So&So is guilty and Milo is mad.

So&So groaned. His head spun and pounded. Where was he? A bright light blinded him from above, fading slowly as he continued to stare upward. The slow, steady rhythm of mechanical beeping came to him from his left and he slowly turned, seeing the heart monitor plugging away. An IV pulled at his skin as he moved and the deputy quickly decided to sit still, unsure of how much was strictly necessary to keep him alive and how much was just for monitoring his condition. 

“You’re up.” 

He glanced over to see Ellison sitting in a blue plastic chair, a case report in one hand and a pen between his teeth. The other officer set both down, coming to stand beside So&So‘s bed. “How much do you remember?” 

So&So had to pause, his brain too scrambled to focus properly. There had been lights and a car and…why was he in a car? Right…he’d been taking Bughuul to the museum for- Oh dear. 

How many people from the station had found them? What would they say? And, most important of all, was Bughuul okay?! So&So tried to remember the direction the other car had come from and was almost certain Bughuul had taken a greater force from the impact. “Car accident?” he replied, voice unsure. Ellison nodded. 

“You and the Boogeyma-” 

“Where is he?!” So&So shocked himself from the volume of his question, but gave no time to thinking about it. Ellison gave him a stern look, instantly quieting the injured man. 

“He’s in the room next door,” Ellison stated, nodding to his left. Immediately, So&So tried to stand but found himself pushed by down again. “You’re not moving until the doctors give you the all clear.” 

“What about the kids? What’s going to happen to them?” 

“Don’t worry. They’ll be taken care of.” So&So was certain he had never heard his coworker speak so gently. Did he have children of his own? Personal lives never tended to come up in their talks on patrol and So&So was painfully aware in that moment of how little he knew about Ellison. 

The deputy nodded slowly, unconvinced but knowing there was nothing he could do from a hospital bed. “Anything you need from your place?” Ellison continued, tone back to normal. 

“Just, um…a book?” So&So asked, ashamed of requesting anything even though the other had offered. 

“Can do.” With that, Ellison turned and walked out. 

For a while, So&So found himself alone with his thoughts, a dangerous place for the man to be. As the hours past him by, he lost interest in the rotating cycle of nurses and doctors who came to see him. He had been the one driving; he should have seen the oncoming car. Ellison had said Bughuul was in the next room so that meant he was alive, right? Since the man had left, So&So had received no news regarding his friend, not that he’d worked up the courage to ask. It wasn’t as though they were family. The doctors had no obligation or, So&So was almost certain, legal ability to give him any information. 

Just as he was beginning to doze off, the door to his room opened and the heads of two young girls popped in. “He’s in here!” Stephanie’s voice jolted him fully awake and he tried to smile. However, his face pulled into an expression of regret and shame. If she and Ashley noticed, they said nothing. Instead, both ran over to his bed and gave him gentle hugs. Ted, Emma, and Milo filed in after the girls, Ted coming to stand beside the bed and set a tiny alligator toy down on So&So’s lap. “He’ll help you get better,” the boy explained. So&So stammered out his thanks before Ted left once more. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” Stephanie asked, large eyes shining up at the deputy. 

So&So nodded. “What about…um, your dad?” 

Wrong question. Both girls’ eyes began to water and before he knew it, the deputy had two sobbing children clinging to his hospital gown. “The doctors said they don’t know when he’s gonna wake up.” At the back of the room, So&So could see Milo and Emma glaring at him. Gently, he placed his less injured arm over Ashley’s back, rubbing gently in an attempt to comfort her. 

“I’m sure he’ll be okay soon.” 

A few more sniffles answered him before a woman walked into the room. The deputy recognized her from the station. She came in at times when there were custody issues or crimes involving children. With gentle words, she shooed the children out, all except Milo, who had weaseled his way out of the small group and stalked back toward the deputy. 

“This is your fault,” he snapped, rage making his fists shake at his sides. “It’s all your fault! I wish you’d never, ever come here! Dad would be fine if he’d never met you.” 

So&So wanted to protest, the adult in him wanting to explain and defend himself, but no words made it past his lips. Milo was echoing everything the guilt inside of him had been whispering into his consciousness ever since he’d woken up. 

“I wish you were dead! They’re going to put us all in other homes and if Dad never wakes up then we’ll never see each other again!” The boy was shaking so much So&So wondered how he was still standing. Silent tears rolled down Milo’s cheeks, but his glare never faded. “If Dad dies, I’m going to come in here And! Kill! You!” 

His shouting brought the woman back in and she quickly ushered him out, giving So&So and apologetic look. Milo continued to glower at So&So, seething. Just as the door closed, the deputy saw him mouth the words “you are a dead man.”


	18. Going home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So&So isn't doing well.

A week of staying in the hospital had only helped the deputy physically. His body was healing nicely, according to the doctors, but his mind was in shambles. A psychiatrist had come to speak with him on the third day about the accident and any possible trauma. However, So&So hardly spoke for the entire house. Shame and guilt buried his words and all he could hear was Milo’s angry screaming. He deserved it; he had been the one driving. If he’d been looking more carefully, then none of this would have happened.

As he was pulling on his shirt over the brace on his right arm, the psychiatrist came in one more time and left a few pamphlets on his bed. He thanked him even though he wasn’t sure if he would ever read them. Still, he scooped them into his bag and started toward the door. The receptionist was kind as he checked himself out, thanking the stars that his insurance would cover the rather high medical costs.

In the past seven days, he had gotten no word on either the children or Bughuul. His attempts to see the man had been thwarted by doctors and the psychiatrist who all said it wasn’t good for him. So&So desperately clung to the notion that no new was good new and nothing had gone terribly wrong. His next thoughts, as he slipped into a nearby taxi, were of the children. Without Bughuul, they had no parent at home. What would happen? What if they were separated forever?

Could he take care of them?

So&So’s head shot up at the thought, but he quickly deflated. His apartment was small and didn’t have any spare rooms or even a pull out couch. Aside from that, he was almost certain social services wouldn’t allow a man recently release from the hospital to take on a large assortment of children. Sighing, he let his head rest on on the window for the rest of the drive. Once the taxi pulled up to his building, he grabbed his bag, paid the driver, and walked inside.

Falling onto his own bed sent a wave of relief through him, but it was short lived. Tomorrow, he would need to go to work again and Bughuul wouldn’t be there; he’d still be in a hospital bed, unconscious. He resolved to go visit after work. Ellison had come back and told him more about what had happened. Someone had run a red light and slammed into his passenger side door. The other driver had suffered only a minor fracture and a few cuts, but Bughuul had taken the brunt of the impact. Even if the accident hadn’t been his fault, So&So still felt responsible. If he’d picked a different location for their date, if he had arrived earlier or later to pick up Bughuul, if he’d seen the other car breaking the law...All possible scenarios ran through his mind and he could feel tears stinging his eyes. They began to fall silently, but soon he was crying, fully sobbing and making a mess of himself. His uninjured arm lay over his eyes but the sleeve didn’t help to soak up the salty water.

So&So knew he was an ugly crier. Red, puffy eyes, snot, and so many tears marred his face. If someone had walked in right then, he would have wanted to hide.

He wanted to do that anyway.

All of it, everything, was because of him. Milo was right. If he had never become involved with Bughuul this wouldn’t have happened. If- no, no, when- the man woke, So&So resolved to distance himse-

He couldn’t finish the thought.

Just the idea of never speaking to Bughuul again, never spending time with him like they had been, was enough to send him into a fresh bout of hysterics. He had found someone who wanted to be around him, who accepted him, and now he had ruined it. Even Ashley and Stephanie probably hated him. From his bag, he pulled out the little toy Tedd had left him and set it on his bedside table. He would keep it, of course he would, as a reminder of those wonderful children and their father.

For a full hour, he lay staring at the ceiling before he finally forced himself into the shower. Maneuvering with the brace on his arm took some getting used to, but the managed to wash his face and shower with only minor difficulty. Dinner consisted of delivery pizza and he fell asleep the moment he was full, leaving the half empty box on the counter to be dealt with in the morning.

He had a headache the moment he woke up. His alarm still hadn’t gone off and he rolled over to stare at the red digital readout. When the beeping finally began, he hit the snooze button but instead of going back to sleep, he stood and prepared to get ready. The alarm went off again five minutes later and he shut it down properly. Breakfast was cold pizza, with the leftovers wrapped in foil and placed in the refrigerator. A buzzing from his phone told him Ellison would be coming to get him. His car had been wrecked, not irreparably, but enough that it would be in the shop for at least two weeks.

Standing on the curb outside of his apartment, he watched and waited for Ellison. He could do this; he could get through one day of work.

At least...he hoped he could.


End file.
